OK, so I haven't updated this thing in about, oh, nine months or so. I suppose that is a teensy bit too much time between updates. Well, what can I say as an excuse? I've been busy? While true this is pretty flimsy. I guess I just haven't been spending much time in front of the computer this past three-quarters of a year. Quite a bit has been going on, that's for sure.
A lot has changed over the past year; a lot of who I am has changed as well. I've become a good deal more sociable (hence the lack of time behind the computer screen), more laid back, and much, much happier. I'm approaching a point of my life where all the bumps and potholes have been smoothed out, and I'm ready to start cruising along, living rather than worrying. I feel that I'm finally an adult, and I don't want to be tethered to a university anymore, I don't want to be a student anymore. I'm not saying I don't want to stop learning, just that I'm ready to do it on my own terms. Hell, when I first came to Tallahassee, the first whole year I was up here, I did really well in classes, wrote great papers, but I was miserable. The previous year of working at coastal had really done more harm to me than I understood at the time. I had a terribly difficult time socializing, and I felt very alienated and cut off from those around me (note to self: in future do not accept job working graveyard shift at insane asylum). I had a few friends here, but not many; I was terribly depressed. Perhaps that's why Story's dumping of me wounded me so deeply. I didn't have very much, and the more she drifted away the tighter I clung, desperate for that human connection, unhealthy as it was.
Anyway, The past year has been completely, totally different. I'm happy now, I really am; happier than I've ever been before in my life. I have a pretty good job, I've got plenty of friends, I will soon have my master's degree. But, there's something (more correctly a someone) a tad more important than those factors that is the cause for my current, ridiculously happy, situation: Maria.
It's difficult for me to even put to words how I feel about her. It's as if what I thought was love before was just this pale shadow of the feelings I have for her. I don't really care that much about anything else except being with her, and seeing her smile. Hell, I just look at her and smile, and to see her smile back makes everything right in the world. And I'm going to get to spend the rest of my life with her, because a few days ago I proposed to her and she said yes. That's right, Maria and I are engaged. Woo! We both knew it was going to happen, hell, I wanted to ask her for months now. I wanted to have something all romantic planned out, with candles, and sunsets and waves breaking on the beach. But all those plans were discarded, because I had to tell her how I felt at that very moment, that she makes me happier than I have ever felt before, that I wanted to share the rest of my life with her. And she said Yes.
So yeah, things are going pretty well for me. Sorry about the absence from Live Journal, I'll try to be timelier in the future and all. But then again, things have been rather busy and all.